Caregiver taking own advice

 For years I have told the Caregivers in my Prostate Cancer group to take time for themselves. Sadly I never listened to my own advice. These past two years has taken a toll on me. 

First the pandemic and masks mandates. Which has caused my anxiety to spiral out of control. Wearing a mask caused flashbacks of a major event that happened when I was 5 years old. Which has turned into PTSD 50 plus years later. 

My Mom passed away April 21, 2021, from COPD and Dementia. The hardest part of that day was watching my Mom die. I set in the room with her along with another family member talking with her even though she was unresponsive. We were told it was a matter of time, it could be hours, days or weeks. I told the family member we needed to tell her it was Okay to go. With resistance that family member did not want to be part of it. As I sat alone in the room. I told my Mom, if she needed to go I would be Okay. Shortly after that she passed away. Now I feel guilty because I let her go. People tell me it was a selfless act to do because I loved her. 

Her wishes was to be cremated. This was something I have never been part of and want to get out of my head. Before the memorial service I was asked if I want to see my Mom for the last time. I thought I could handle it. But I was wrong. We were taken to a viewing room where she laid. She was in the cremation box. It was another reality of the final journey. It was so hard and I could not bare it. I wanted to run out and not be there. But my feet would not let me go. I was able to speak at her Memorial service and I talked from my heart. And how I felt guilty letting her go. 

December 2, 2021, I lost my 15 year old Fur Baby Maxwell. He also had Dementia but for Canines. He would get lost in the house and bark as to say. Mom, help me! At the end I kept him in a baby playpen to keep his safe. There were long nights where he wouldn’t sleep. So I would sit up with him all night. I would rock him and talk with him. On this day he took his last breath at 10:00pm. He was also cremated and he is on the fireplace with my Mom. Losing Max has been really hard as I feel so lost because he helped with my anxiety. When I was in a crisis he would cuddle up so tight next to me. Now he is not here to do that. 

Earlier this month was the ZERO Summit virtually. But this year since 2012, I did not attend. I just could not get j to it this year. Again I felt guilty because of it. But with my mental health being in a crisis mode. It was best to take the time for me. Usually by now I am also contacting elected officials for Proclamations for Prostate Cancer Awareness and Education Month. This year since 2014, will be the first year I have not sent out requests. I has been a hard choice to make again but it is necessary to get me back to a healthy state of mind.

Caregiver’s please make sure you take the time and take care of your self. You are needed to be healthy on the journey with your loved ones battling prostate cancer. 

Currently my husband is still in remission. And I am very grateful for this. This is why it is so important for me to focus on myself as well. 

Day 15!!

One of our amazing Prostate cancer advocate friends has decimated todays push-ups to Ray and I. 

 Stephanie Mueller is feeling strong!

Day 15‼️

2,800 push-ups in 28 days for ZERO - The End of Prostate Cancer!

And, to make it even more meaningful... I’m choosing to dedicate my 100 push-ups each day to someone I admire. 

Today, my push-ups are dedicated to an amazing survivor and fellow advocate, Ray Hoetger and part of another power couple with his wife, Linda Hoetger. 

Ray and Linda are very special to me!! They are my longest ZERO friends having met them at my very 1st 5k in 2012... and Ray talked to my dad forever about their time as firefighters.

And, their kitty, Dora, is my kitty, TigerLily’s, mom! 😻

Ray was diagnosed with PC in 2009. A biopsy revealed that he had prostate cancer. He took action quickly and had surgery, followed by hormone therapy. Nearly 13 years later, his cancer is still undetectable.

Ray’s battle with the disease and realization that they didn’t want their four young sons to face the same fight, spurred Ray and Linda into action. They are passionate, active ZERO advocates in Ohio, often travelling to events and educating men and their families about the disease. With Ray’s prostate cancer diagnosis came a battle for Linda as well – she’s committed to raising awareness for caregivers of men with prostate cancer, and is passionate about educating women on her story and how important it is to be aware of the struggles of not only the man with the disease, but the caregiver as well.

In addition, Linda and Ray work tirelessly to petition local elected officials for proclamations declaring September as Prostate Cancer Awareness Month. They receive hundreds of proclamations each year. 

They attend the annual ZERO Summit, and Linda’s dedication to advocacy is well known in the prostate cancer community. She once broke her leg while on Capitol Hill for the Summit and did not miss a single meeting.

I’m blessed to know, Ray and Linda. I admire all that they do to raise awareness and help others through their journey. 

And... now I challenge you... if you’ve read this far... (no, not to do push ups... although you can) to tell one man in your life to get tested. It could save a life! 💙

 

 Love is in the air! Petey found a lady friend to share Valentine's Day with. His gift to her was a PSA Test. How about you Guys have your PSA lately?

 

Camper Van 2022

 Petey can’t wait for Spring! He got a new Csmper Van today. 

World Cancer Day 2022

 Today is World Cancer Day! Petey is our Mascot for Prostate Cancer Awareness and Education. The walnut is the size of a normal prostate. This is why I created Petey and share him with the world! This little nut causes so much pain in the lives of men and their families.

 

Cancer Moonshot

I wish President Biden would have followed through with what he started for his son. Even though he gave up on finding a cure for cancer. I have NOT! I continue to fight for prostate cancer awareness even though Ray has been in Remission for 12 years! 

It had been an amazing event that I witnessed on January 20, 2017. My hope is that the Cancer Moonshot will continue to Cure all cancers! As being a caregiver to a prostate cancer patient it has been hard, this disease is hardly talked about. I have heard the struggles from men that their wives have not been able to handle the stress of the disease and have divorced their husbands after years of marriage. And the heartbreaking news that one of my men friends has lost their battle with this horrible disease. I remember them when I fight for prostate cancer awareness! Last year a flag was flown over Capitol Hill for the families of prostate cancer. There is one Family that is extra special to why I fight to raise awareness. This young man at the age of 9 (not a Typo) was diagnosed with his first battle of prostate cancer. It is a rare childhood form! He went through Chemo. In remission at that time, then a year later it returned. By age 11 the had to have his prostate removed and Chemo again. He has been a TROOPER throughout this ordeal. 

So Guys when you say you are to young to get or be tested for prostate cancer. Think again!!!!

I will be back February 27 - March 1 for the ZERO Summit to raise awareness for prostate cancer since 2012. 

Thank you Congresswoman Beatty for your support in raising awareness for prostate cancer. Representative Heather Harris Bishoff, Senator Kevin Bacon!

Goal for 2022

#WHITEHOUSEBLUE2022

#PeteyintheWhiteHouse

#ProstateCancerAwareness

 

PSA Petey

PSA Petey!!  Guys you should know what PSA stands for.  (hint not Public Service Announcement).  Do you know your PSA number?

 

Happy New Year!

 

Happy Holidays from Petey!

 

Ohio State Football - Dimitrious Stanley

 With permission from Jessica Ader Stanley

Thank you everyone for your prayers and kind words!  Our family appreciates it so much. Dimitrious wanted me to give you this message since he’s not on Facebook anymore....

I want to thank all of you for the well wishes. Now, my request to you all is to try not to stress and worry. 

Stress and worry can make us sick. This is not happening to me to make others sick by stress. I believe it is happening to me to motivate you all to do what makes you Healthy, Happy and Vibrant.

I believe this is apart of my Godly plan, not my plan. I am not worried about my future. I truly, in my heart, believe that I am going to beat this. Great things come in time not over night. No matter what’s happening around you, the only thing that matters is the energy of the people that you constantly allow into your mind, body and soul. Remember this, food can be energy or death, so choose wisely.

You have to focus on that, because at the end of the day, what you put in your mind, body and soul will effect you negatively or positively. “DONTBE AFRAID FOR ME.” Be happy that I found my purpose in life. My purpose is to love, appreciate and show people that no matter your color, sexual preference, religion etc, it’s all about the ENERGY you live in. YOUR MIND, BODY AND SOUL are 100% composed of ENERGY, WATER AND OXYGEN. This is how I identify.😉

Love,

Dimitrious Stanley, 

Your greatest ally

Petey’s New Hat

 

Wake Up Cbus

 

Wake Up Cbus!

 

Veteran’s

 Today there are over 500,000 Veterans living with Prostate Cancer in the VHA System, of those over 16,000 have a metastatic form of the disease. We are experiencing approximately 15,000 new diagnoses each year and that number is increasing. I should also point out that we have a 14% diagnosis of metastatic disease on the first diagnosis as compared to the general population's 7%. We must do more to raise awareness and educate the Veteran and Active-Duty populations.

Movember and Petey’s mustache

 

Happy Thanksgiving

 

Snowboarding!

Petey can't wait for the snow this year. 

He enjoys snowboarding so much! Petey had his PSA recently and he is still in remission and so happy! Have you gotten yours?

 

Petey's Bait Shop

Petey loves deep-sea fishing. On his recent fishing trip, he caught a shark. It took some time to wrangle him into the boat. but he knew that giving up was not something he was going to do.

 

Senate Medicaid, Health & Human Services Committee November 20, 2013

 When memories pop up in your timeline from 2013.

When you hear that the recommendations from the USPSTF and you don’t agree with them. What do you do when it’s being heard in the Ohio Statehouse. It’s was time to share my story with the Representatives. A few days later after I sent my concerns, I got a phone call from Senator Burkes's office. Would you please share your story at the hearing? Of course, I would! And so it began….

My Testimony for Wednesday. Hopefully, it will help make changes in prostate cancer awareness!

Senate Medicaid, Health & Human Services Committee

November 20, 2013

S.C.R. 10

Proponent Testimony

On June 19, 2009, my life as a wife had forever changed into a prostate cancer caregiver wife. My husband’s PSA rose from 7.91 to 8.42 in a little over one month. June 15th a PSA and Biopsy were done I never gave it a thought that we would be called back to Wright-Patterson 4 days later and I needed to be there. That morning of the 19th I was not thinking that there was anything wrong! But when we get to the base it was strange to hear that the doctor cleared his morning schedule to talk with us. Thought it was strange but no RED flags here! The doctor comes out to greet us and he had this strange look on his face. We get into his office and sit down and he tells us…I am sorry Sergeant Hoetger your biopsy came back positive for an aggressive form of prostate cancer. Stunned, shocked, numb is just a few words that I can describe on that day. My tears started flowing. This is no news one wants to hear but for a doctor to have to tell the patient or the wife! After all the tears and trying to absorb the diagnosis. The doctor took the time to discuss the tests in-depth, treatment options, questions. Ray did not want to hear any option except the prostate is causing the problem then take it out NOW! The Urologist said to become students and learn everything about prostate cancer and so that is what I did. I did research all the options and tried to share them with Ray but he did not want to hear any of them except surgery! Ray was diagnosed at 56 years old with prostate cancer with a simple PSA blood test that the United States Preventative Task Force recommends against at any age. I do not agree with their recommendations as the wife of a Prostate Cancer Survivor and also a Mom of young sons’ in their 20’s. It was devastating hearing that my husband was diagnosed but hearing it from my sons! When there is a simple PSA blood test that could save their life?

Linda Hoetger

ZERO The End of Prostate Cancer

Central Ohio Champion

Petey’s mustaches

Petey showing off his different mustaches for Grow and Give 2021

 

The First Movember Proclamation

In 2015, the first Movember Proclamation was signed by Governor John Kasich. I asked if we could get one done and at that time Ohio did not have one. So I asked how can I change that. We need the verbiage. Not a problem! A few days later I sent it to his office and the process was started. Shortly after that, I received it in the mail. Gover Kasich continued to sign the Proclamation while he was in office. Governor DeWine has signed a couple but sadly with the pandemic, he has declined to sign Proclamations of support. For Movember or for Prostate Cancer Awareness and Education.