My life

Ray Hoetger and I met June 20, and were married on September 28, 1983. We found our soul mates! When I said those words in Sickness and in Health. I never imagined that the challenge that we would face 26 years later would be prostate cancer!

On June 19, 2009 we hear those words that no man wants to hear. You have prostate cancer! And to make matters worse Ray's was an aggressive form of the disease. His Gleason score was a 9 and PSA was 8.42 and 56 years old. I went from a wife to a Caregiver. At this time we had weigh the treatment options and decide the plan of attack. All the options came with risks and side effects.

Ray chose Robotic surgery and in October 12, 2009 he became a prostate cancer SURVIVOR! The surgery took longer than expected as the cancer has escaped the prostate into the lymph nodes. Not news I wanted to hear. Although he was down graded from a Gleason 9 to an 8. The surgery did come with some side effects incontinence, better than 6 feet under! At 45 I was not ready to join the Prostate Cancer Widow Club. Since the cancer was not gone he still had to have more treatments. He was on hormone therapy and did 7 weeks of radiation.

He was on hormone therapy for 6 years and his PSA has been Undetectable for 2 years. He goes every 3 months for a PSA test. I do not use the term Cancer Free as even though the prostate is gone and the cancer was in the lymph nodes. We know that the cancer can rear its ugly head again. So we will never let our guard down. Ray goes ever 3 months for his PSA test and is followed by the Cancer Care Clinic every year. For some people this would be great news! But for those who have been in our shoes they understand.

I may look strong on the outside but there are days when I am not strong at all. The toll that prostate cancer takes on the caregiver is tough! Not only do we care for our loved ones we have to care for ourselves! Many times we forget about ourselves. I have been guilty of that many times. Some will never understand the battles we face with prostate cancer and the after effects.

September is Prostate Cancer Awareness Month so please Guys get your PSA test! A simple blood test can save your life!

Ladies encourage the men in your lives to get a PSA test! Reward them with a treat after the test.

This picture was take 8 years ago on Ray's birthday on August 30, 2009.